I can literally feel my heart breaking.
I can hear my blood pumping through my ears.
I can taste every tear that runs down my face.
I can hear each one hitting the ground beneath my feet.
Why does everything change
For Better?
For The Worst.
Why does everyone change
Leave,
and never come home.
When does the world stop spinning out of control
does it ever?
No, no it doesn't.
8.12.10
7.12.10
6.12.10
Misery loves company, and company loves more
Love, we've lost it all
Tragedy, oh how it's taken so many
Hope, we've walked alone and forgot who we were
Misery, "the last, the worst, That man can feel"
We're all just a bunch of miserable bastards, so it usually works out
Tragedy, oh how it's taken so many
Hope, we've walked alone and forgot who we were
Misery, "the last, the worst, That man can feel"
We're all just a bunch of miserable bastards, so it usually works out
1.12.10
There is nothing more sad than forgetting how to breathe.
each time she looked him in the eyes
he become whole, everything he was,
everything he wanted to be, was hers
she was his happiness, his sanity
a place he called home.
"sing me the songs I've wrote for you
loud and out of key, baby don't stop
until you make my ears bleed."
summer never sounded so soft
their voices always cracked after
long nights on downtown rooftops
hanging their bare feet over the city
but all to quickly,
winter came and the summer was over
his winter became unbearably cold
his nights became longer, and longer
he didn't know it would go like this.
"now I've got no summer, I've got no one to kiss"
It would be impossible for him at first,
but as time moved on,
he would try to think less of her.
Until she could be forgotten, for awhile.
"now I've got no summer, I've got no one to kiss"
by the time warmth came back to the city
he had lost, hope for himself, for love
each morning he would meet the sun
with his heavy eyes, and hang himself on
that clothes line to dry the tears that filled his soul
-He was a genius of sadness,
immersing himself in it,
separating its numerous strands,
appreciating its subtle nuances.
he was a prism through which sadness could
be divided into its infinite spectrum.
but today he found something from a friend
that made him find himself once again
"It's comforting to know I'm not doing this alone.
the only thing worse then losing your way,
it's forgetting how to breathe"
he become whole, everything he was,
everything he wanted to be, was hers
she was his happiness, his sanity
a place he called home.
"sing me the songs I've wrote for you
loud and out of key, baby don't stop
until you make my ears bleed."
summer never sounded so soft
their voices always cracked after
long nights on downtown rooftops
hanging their bare feet over the city
but all to quickly,
winter came and the summer was over
his winter became unbearably cold
his nights became longer, and longer
he didn't know it would go like this.
"now I've got no summer, I've got no one to kiss"
It would be impossible for him at first,
but as time moved on,
he would try to think less of her.
Until she could be forgotten, for awhile.
"now I've got no summer, I've got no one to kiss"
by the time warmth came back to the city
he had lost, hope for himself, for love
each morning he would meet the sun
with his heavy eyes, and hang himself on
that clothes line to dry the tears that filled his soul
-He was a genius of sadness,
immersing himself in it,
separating its numerous strands,
appreciating its subtle nuances.
he was a prism through which sadness could
be divided into its infinite spectrum.
but today he found something from a friend
that made him find himself once again
"It's comforting to know I'm not doing this alone.
the only thing worse then losing your way,
it's forgetting how to breathe"
You can not protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness
I spent my life learning to feel less.
Every day I felt less.
Is that growing old? Or is it something worse?
Does it break my heart, of course,
every moment of every day,
into more pieces than my heart was made of,
I never thought of myself as quiet,
much less silent,
I never thought about things at all,
everything changed,
the distance that wedged itself between me and my happiness wasn't the world,
it wasn't the bombs and burning buildings,
it was me,
my thinking,
the cancer of never letting go,
is ignorance bliss,
I don't know,
but it's so painful to think,
and tell me,
what did thinking ever do for me,
to what great place did thinking ever bring me?
I think and think and think,
I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.
30.11.10
It's the tragedy of loving, you can't love anything more than something you miss.
Time was passing like a hand waving from a train
I wanted to be on.
I hope you never think about anything as much as
I think about you.
I wanted to be on.
I hope you never think about anything as much as
I think about you.
Mound Rd. Miamisburg, Ohio. 4:28am 11/27/2010
That night the world ended under our feet.
I'll never stopping thinking about the
things i remembered, or how little I'd forgotten.
But we'll smoke to the end of another day
and wait as the clouds take over our heads.
22.11.10
You can not protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness
I knew that our time together was almost over,
I asked her if she liked sports,
she asked me if I liked chess,
I asked her if she liked fallen trees,
she went home with her father,
the center of me followed her,
but I was left with the shell of me,
I needed to see her again,
I couldn't explain my need to myself,
and that's why it was such a beautiful need,
there's nothing wrong with not understanding yourself.
"I never confused what I had with what I was."
I asked her if she liked sports,
she asked me if I liked chess,
I asked her if she liked fallen trees,
she went home with her father,
the center of me followed her,
but I was left with the shell of me,
I needed to see her again,
I couldn't explain my need to myself,
and that's why it was such a beautiful need,
there's nothing wrong with not understanding yourself.
"I never confused what I had with what I was."
Everything Is Illuminated
He awoke each morning with the desire to do right,
to be a good and meaningful person, to be,
as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy.
And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his chest into his stomach. By early afternoon he was overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for him, and by the desire to be alone. By evening he was fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness. I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others--the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad. Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his rib cage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by the midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I am not sad.
to be a good and meaningful person, to be,
as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy.
And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his chest into his stomach. By early afternoon he was overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for him, and by the desire to be alone. By evening he was fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness. I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others--the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad. Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his rib cage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by the midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I am not sad.
20.11.10
I miss my best friend.
Love, love, love of mine
where do you wander deep inside?
In fields of gold and chartreuse trees,
I search for you but still you hide.
Love, love, we are betrayed
throughout my silhouette is where you dwell.
In pools of brown, like jagged cliffs,
the tide is rushing and the waves swell.
Love, love, you're never within reach
Why is it that you're never near?
Veins of crimson and a meager grasp,
you've longed to be any place but here.
Love, love, you wither and fade
like a rose that won't live forever.
You drink me in and spit me out,
you were once the pieces holding me together.
where do you wander deep inside?
In fields of gold and chartreuse trees,
I search for you but still you hide.
Love, love, we are betrayed
throughout my silhouette is where you dwell.
In pools of brown, like jagged cliffs,
the tide is rushing and the waves swell.
Love, love, you're never within reach
Why is it that you're never near?
Veins of crimson and a meager grasp,
you've longed to be any place but here.
Love, love, you wither and fade
like a rose that won't live forever.
You drink me in and spit me out,
you were once the pieces holding me together.
18.11.10
15.11.10
From This Friend Of Mine
You'll never need to be afraid,
you will never need to mask your fear.
I am lingering inside your heart's chamber,
No need for worries, I'm here.
My love can only grow,
never fade or disappear.
I want to stay right where you are,
I won't leave, baby I'm still here.
I speak with a harsh tongue,
but I never do it out of spite.
You are the song dancing through these lips,
I've always been wrong even when I've thought I was right.
Sometimes we lose ourselves,
but you have never been lost in my sight.
I never want to weaken your heart's beating,
even though it's my heart which you grip tight.
I never want to let go,
sweet love of mine.
I smile because you just know how to get me,
you're the words to my rhyme.
You travel through my eyes,
like light that is hard to see.
But you're so perfect,
you're perfect in every way to me.
People ask me what I believe in,
sometimes I really don't know.
But now that I think of it,
I believe our love could simply grow.
Our moments away are forever long,
they seem to slowly tick on by.
I am weakened by the memory of you,
with each tear that I cry.
I wish you could hold me forever,
and never let me go.
Parting really is such sweet sorrow,
but all the while I love you so.
you will never need to mask your fear.
I am lingering inside your heart's chamber,
No need for worries, I'm here.
My love can only grow,
never fade or disappear.
I want to stay right where you are,
I won't leave, baby I'm still here.
I speak with a harsh tongue,
but I never do it out of spite.
You are the song dancing through these lips,
I've always been wrong even when I've thought I was right.
Sometimes we lose ourselves,
but you have never been lost in my sight.
I never want to weaken your heart's beating,
even though it's my heart which you grip tight.
I never want to let go,
sweet love of mine.
I smile because you just know how to get me,
you're the words to my rhyme.
You travel through my eyes,
like light that is hard to see.
But you're so perfect,
you're perfect in every way to me.
People ask me what I believe in,
sometimes I really don't know.
But now that I think of it,
I believe our love could simply grow.
Our moments away are forever long,
they seem to slowly tick on by.
I am weakened by the memory of you,
with each tear that I cry.
I wish you could hold me forever,
and never let me go.
Parting really is such sweet sorrow,
but all the while I love you so.
11.11.10
i best be on my way out
Excellent timing leads to prosperous growth in life.
My timing is atrociously out of order.
Ive wasted my time dreaming about being alive, again
time to grasp a life lived.
its to late to turn back now, but
i havent lost anything except my mind.
ha.
My timing is atrociously out of order.
Ive wasted my time dreaming about being alive, again
time to grasp a life lived.
its to late to turn back now, but
i havent lost anything except my mind.
ha.
8.11.10
2.11.10
21.10.10
wonderer
i'm high
talking to images,
with our lost vocabulary.
its just a slump,
another mountain to climb.
is it worth it?
friendships, unnecessary.
how we fall in and out of love.
crash and burn,
repeat.
restart with another only to repeat
everything we learned that broke us.
we're still only human.
friendships, forgotten
our favorite star fell from the sky.
when does crashing become normal
when did speeding become life
just another day to finish
edit, replase and repeat.
"it's always the same."
talking to images,
with our lost vocabulary.
its just a slump,
another mountain to climb.
is it worth it?
friendships, unnecessary.
how we fall in and out of love.
crash and burn,
repeat.
restart with another only to repeat
everything we learned that broke us.
we're still only human.
friendships, forgotten
our favorite star fell from the sky.
when does crashing become normal
when did speeding become life
just another day to finish
edit, replase and repeat.
"it's always the same."
20.10.10
Yeah, I had it all
But I threw it away just to prove that I could
Just to prove that I could"
"See, I recall quite perfectly who I was
Both before and after the drugs"
16.9.10
[Edit:]
Chances are someone has already written the song
You just have to find your own way of saying it.
You just have to find your own way of saying it.
1.9.10
Ink and Napkins
There is a game they play.
Spilling the ink from their hearts,
onto plain white napkins.
"So...
You're Basically
the love of
my life"
" .....it's true."
They Smiled At Eachother,
And Went On With The Night.
Spilling the ink from their hearts,
onto plain white napkins.
"So...
You're Basically
the love of
my life"
" .....it's true."
They Smiled At Eachother,
And Went On With The Night.
22.8.10
Art of breaking a heart.
He threw his hands into the air
turned his face to the sky and yelled
"She loves me!"
I saw a strange death today
In the most unusual of ways
Because, you see, this man still lives
And his health is quite well
The death I speak of was in his thoughts
A memory he couldn't live without
Her eyes, her smile, her hair so soft
The way they both would shout
Always directed at each other it seemed
But always a game, never to be mean
Though life had lived on, their lovers changed
Their connection never swayed
So when the question danced from his lips
She knew they would never again be hers to kiss
So she cried and she smiled and she remembered so well
Then she took a jump from his memories
Out of his eyes she fell.
turned his face to the sky and yelled
"She loves me!"
I saw a strange death today
In the most unusual of ways
Because, you see, this man still lives
And his health is quite well
The death I speak of was in his thoughts
A memory he couldn't live without
Her eyes, her smile, her hair so soft
The way they both would shout
Always directed at each other it seemed
But always a game, never to be mean
Though life had lived on, their lovers changed
Their connection never swayed
So when the question danced from his lips
She knew they would never again be hers to kiss
So she cried and she smiled and she remembered so well
Then she took a jump from his memories
Out of his eyes she fell.
18.8.10
17.8.10
11.8.10
Once I Can Breath Again,
"Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Do not set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
Do not take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
Do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
Do not give up when you have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
It is a fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Do not be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find.
The quickest way to receieve love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold too tightly.
Do not dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope.
To be without hope is to be without purpose.
Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been but also where you are going.
Life is not a race but a journey to be savored each step of the way. "
"It's time, to go back to the place where it started.
It's time, to go back to the place where it ended.
It's time, to go back to the place where I was me.
Before i met you, before I met the heartache.
It will hurt me to see you.
It will hurt you, when I ignore the fact you're even there.
I am sorry for going on with my life, without you.
I am sorry for everything that has happened between us.
I am sorry, Good-Bye Stranger."
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Do not set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
Do not take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
Do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
Do not give up when you have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
It is a fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Do not be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find.
The quickest way to receieve love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold too tightly.
Do not dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope.
To be without hope is to be without purpose.
Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been but also where you are going.
Life is not a race but a journey to be savored each step of the way. "
"It's time, to go back to the place where it started.
It's time, to go back to the place where it ended.
It's time, to go back to the place where I was me.
Before i met you, before I met the heartache.
It will hurt me to see you.
It will hurt you, when I ignore the fact you're even there.
I am sorry for going on with my life, without you.
I am sorry for everything that has happened between us.
I am sorry, Good-Bye Stranger."
8.8.10
Fear is a far friend of love.
I am a story...
I may be untold to many but to some my pages are worn..
I am a secret...
To my world i am new but you've heard it all before
I am a mystery...
I'll say I'm fine but ill tell you the truth if you try and ask me once more
I am a line...
I have been crossed by those who will learn 'what goes around comes around'
I am torn...
He said , she said , they said someday by someone her heart will be found..
I am telling the truth...
I can love, I loved, I am loved and and I love
I am yours...
whoever you are when is it enough? ....
Tell me a story that leads to the secret of crossing the line of love.
My heart is torn from a past of lovers telling me I'm 'that one'.
So tell me the truth, are you like the rest who always leave to "find themselves".
If not then just tell me I'm yours so I can stop this history from repeating itself...
Fall into this mind and you'll find yourself drowning in thoughts of you.
Let your hands fall into my hands and we'll run away with all to loose
Fear is a far friend of love...
It is not far enough to forget but a good distance away to ignore...
I may be untold to many but to some my pages are worn..
I am a secret...
To my world i am new but you've heard it all before
I am a mystery...
I'll say I'm fine but ill tell you the truth if you try and ask me once more
I am a line...
I have been crossed by those who will learn 'what goes around comes around'
I am torn...
He said , she said , they said someday by someone her heart will be found..
I am telling the truth...
I can love, I loved, I am loved and and I love
I am yours...
whoever you are when is it enough? ....
Tell me a story that leads to the secret of crossing the line of love.
My heart is torn from a past of lovers telling me I'm 'that one'.
So tell me the truth, are you like the rest who always leave to "find themselves".
If not then just tell me I'm yours so I can stop this history from repeating itself...
Fall into this mind and you'll find yourself drowning in thoughts of you.
Let your hands fall into my hands and we'll run away with all to loose
Fear is a far friend of love...
It is not far enough to forget but a good distance away to ignore...
6.8.10
4.8.10
Sweet Air.
Tell me,
Where is my mind when my heart seems to run away from me?
Where is the calm?
Who is that lovely girl in the corner sitting so close but farther than ever?
So many questions are causing me to get lost.
Lost in a white square, a screen slowly being saturated with figures flowing with the slightest movement of my hand.
I seem to be searching for some kind of silence.
A personal silence…
I want to fall in love with a million empty sounds and get lost in each second….
Take my breath away sweet air.
You must know all.
Could I ever be as free as you.
Running so far from whatever makes you sad, whispering to every drop of rain telling it where to fall.
Giving a rhythm for the trees and the grass to dance to.
How does it feel to have the wings of an eagle depending on you for every flight?
The stories, the history, the reality of who you are.
I feel you in my everything….
You live in every part of my world but somehow you can’t touch my dreams.
I see the effects of you there but I can never feel you truly.
Sweet air, are you lonely when the world is sleeping?
Do you speak to the buildings or spend your time trying to win a race with light and sound?
Surely you have more things to do then live just around us and through us…
Or do you watch me when me eyes are closed, waiting for me to feel you rush over me when I wake.
Waiting for this voice to fill you and pull you from your session with silence…
If ever you were lonely I would dance for you.
I would run as far as I could giving you no choice but to race around me until I fall.
We could make every star jealous of your perfect distance from a human heart.
Oh sweet air, teach me to feel your loveliness in the midst of the suns afternoon pride.
Where is my mind when my heart seems to run away from me?
Where is the calm?
Who is that lovely girl in the corner sitting so close but farther than ever?
So many questions are causing me to get lost.
Lost in a white square, a screen slowly being saturated with figures flowing with the slightest movement of my hand.
I seem to be searching for some kind of silence.
A personal silence…
I want to fall in love with a million empty sounds and get lost in each second….
Take my breath away sweet air.
You must know all.
Could I ever be as free as you.
Running so far from whatever makes you sad, whispering to every drop of rain telling it where to fall.
Giving a rhythm for the trees and the grass to dance to.
How does it feel to have the wings of an eagle depending on you for every flight?
The stories, the history, the reality of who you are.
I feel you in my everything….
You live in every part of my world but somehow you can’t touch my dreams.
I see the effects of you there but I can never feel you truly.
Sweet air, are you lonely when the world is sleeping?
Do you speak to the buildings or spend your time trying to win a race with light and sound?
Surely you have more things to do then live just around us and through us…
Or do you watch me when me eyes are closed, waiting for me to feel you rush over me when I wake.
Waiting for this voice to fill you and pull you from your session with silence…
If ever you were lonely I would dance for you.
I would run as far as I could giving you no choice but to race around me until I fall.
We could make every star jealous of your perfect distance from a human heart.
Oh sweet air, teach me to feel your loveliness in the midst of the suns afternoon pride.
3.8.10
Over the hills and far away.
Hey lady--you got the love I need
Maybe more than enough.
Oh darling... walk a while with me
Ooh, youve got so much...
Many times I loved
Many times been bitten
Many times Ive gazed
Along the open road.
Many times Ive lied
Many times Ive listened
Many times Ive wondered
How much there is to know.
Many dreams come true
And some have silver linings
I live for my dream
And a pocketful of gold.
Mellow is the man
Who knows what he's been missing
Many many men
Cant see the open road.
Many is a word
That only leaves you guessing
Guessing bout a thing
You really ought to know, ooh!
You really ought to know
I really ought to know!
Oooh, you know I should, you know I should, you know I should...
Led Zeppelin. The Greatest Band Ever.
Maybe more than enough.
Oh darling... walk a while with me
Ooh, youve got so much...
Many times I loved
Many times been bitten
Many times Ive gazed
Along the open road.
Many times Ive lied
Many times Ive listened
Many times Ive wondered
How much there is to know.
Many dreams come true
And some have silver linings
I live for my dream
And a pocketful of gold.
Mellow is the man
Who knows what he's been missing
Many many men
Cant see the open road.
Many is a word
That only leaves you guessing
Guessing bout a thing
You really ought to know, ooh!
You really ought to know
I really ought to know!
Oooh, you know I should, you know I should, you know I should...
Led Zeppelin. The Greatest Band Ever.
31.7.10
23.7.10
Careless Americans, war and it's accidents.
Sitting on the back of the striker.
I felt the cold creep into me.
The old man sat next to me,
Perhaps to tired to continue his tirade against cruel fate.
"it wasn't any ones fault. It was an accident."
inhale,cherry glow.
"Yeah, I know."
long exhale.
"I know."
I felt the cold creep into me.
The old man sat next to me,
Perhaps to tired to continue his tirade against cruel fate.
"it wasn't any ones fault. It was an accident."
inhale,cherry glow.
"Yeah, I know."
long exhale.
"I know."
22.7.10
Growing older doesn't have to be war.
It's getting close, I can read it on my face.
I almost have another year under my belt.
I have my year of stories, along with the battle scars.
I'm not proud of everything that's happened but I'm not
one to regret any of it. I've been told "You only live once."
I consider myself one of the lucky ones.
I fell in and out of love for the first time,
Got the tattoo.
I learned to sleep through thunder storms,
Moved out on my own.
I was in the wrong place at the wrong time,
Spent the night in a hole.
I'm going to use this next year to reconnect.
I'm going to use it to make up for lost times.
I'm going to use it to get back things I've lost,
people i have let go.
I am going to use this next year for me,
and the one after that.
To live life you have to get older, when you stop getting older is when you stop living.
I think that makes getting older worth it. Or at least that's what I like to tell myself.
I almost have another year under my belt.
I have my year of stories, along with the battle scars.
I'm not proud of everything that's happened but I'm not
one to regret any of it. I've been told "You only live once."
I consider myself one of the lucky ones.
I fell in and out of love for the first time,
Got the tattoo.
I learned to sleep through thunder storms,
Moved out on my own.
I was in the wrong place at the wrong time,
Spent the night in a hole.
I'm going to use this next year to reconnect.
I'm going to use it to make up for lost times.
I'm going to use it to get back things I've lost,
people i have let go.
I am going to use this next year for me,
and the one after that.
To live life you have to get older, when you stop getting older is when you stop living.
I think that makes getting older worth it. Or at least that's what I like to tell myself.
19.7.10
That was our moment, and we did not shy away. I won't forget it soon.
"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need."
"'Remember me,' she said, smiling. 'Write my name somewhere safe."
I wrote a letter a little less than year ago.
To a friend, a best friend.
It was posted as a note on my facebook.
Today, as I looked back over it many, many, many times.
I felt sad for the first time.
I deleted it, I can't bare to read it again.
I feel that in the moment when i wrote it i was confused but I felt happy...
I'm actually not 100% sure that my position is all that different now.
I think there is a part of me that still feels this way, and I find it to be a good thing,
but maybe not.
We're only small dots on the map of each others lives.
Our lives had always been on two separate tracks that, by chance, intercepted for a brief moment in time. She will continue now on hers, and I on mine in two opposite directions,
with a very slim chance that we will ever meet again.
And really, I think that it's ok that way.
Not everything is meant to be long term; in fact,
"some perfect moments in life would be ruined if they lasted longer than what they were meant to."
In all Honesty I can't recall the time of day or what we should of been doing.
I find myself trying to remember the moment we became friends.
All I know is that it was the best conversation that I've ever had.
I changed alot, for good. For the better, I hope.
So in thinking about these moments,
these unexpected happenings that changed who I was becoming,
I wonder to myself if I'm a part of someone else's defining moment,
I like to think that somewhere, somehow, I am.
It gives me hope for the future, for the conversations, smiles, friendships,
laughs, hugs, cuddles and good days to come.
I'm done trying, Good-Bye Stranger.
"A hundred thousand words could not quite explain
So I walk you to your car, And we can talk it out in the rain"
"'Remember me,' she said, smiling. 'Write my name somewhere safe."
I wrote a letter a little less than year ago.
To a friend, a best friend.
It was posted as a note on my facebook.
Today, as I looked back over it many, many, many times.
I felt sad for the first time.
I deleted it, I can't bare to read it again.
I feel that in the moment when i wrote it i was confused but I felt happy...
I'm actually not 100% sure that my position is all that different now.
I think there is a part of me that still feels this way, and I find it to be a good thing,
but maybe not.
We're only small dots on the map of each others lives.
Our lives had always been on two separate tracks that, by chance, intercepted for a brief moment in time. She will continue now on hers, and I on mine in two opposite directions,
with a very slim chance that we will ever meet again.
And really, I think that it's ok that way.
Not everything is meant to be long term; in fact,
"some perfect moments in life would be ruined if they lasted longer than what they were meant to."
In all Honesty I can't recall the time of day or what we should of been doing.
I find myself trying to remember the moment we became friends.
All I know is that it was the best conversation that I've ever had.
I changed alot, for good. For the better, I hope.
So in thinking about these moments,
these unexpected happenings that changed who I was becoming,
I wonder to myself if I'm a part of someone else's defining moment,
I like to think that somewhere, somehow, I am.
It gives me hope for the future, for the conversations, smiles, friendships,
laughs, hugs, cuddles and good days to come.
I'm done trying, Good-Bye Stranger.
"A hundred thousand words could not quite explain
So I walk you to your car, And we can talk it out in the rain"
14.7.10
Dear John,
remember me, please...
there's no place that far...
"never stop loving me."
"I'll never stop loving you."
there's no place that far...
"never stop loving me."
"I'll never stop loving you."
25.6.10
22.6.10
M.
"But it all boils down to one quotable phrase
If you love something, give it away"
"So you walk that way, I'll walk this way"
If you love something, give it away"
"So you walk that way, I'll walk this way"
17.6.10
Yourself or someone like you.
You realize someone is important to you
when their face refuses to leave your head
as you stare across a crystal blue lake in the early evening
the sun flirting with the horizon line
as the water begins to still for the night
amongst all the beauty you feel a slight dewy chill-
each time you stop to breath
you wish they were standing beside you
"Shit Happens, Maybe for the best.
It is what it is, baby girl"
when their face refuses to leave your head
as you stare across a crystal blue lake in the early evening
the sun flirting with the horizon line
as the water begins to still for the night
amongst all the beauty you feel a slight dewy chill-
each time you stop to breath
you wish they were standing beside you
"Shit Happens, Maybe for the best.
It is what it is, baby girl"
8.6.10
Declaration of a Poet.
"Pens leak the inks of a soul onto the lines of an ear.
A poetic whisper to secretively conspire about the world we hold dear.
Dots and lines blot the blank and empty white,
A symbolic dance between reality and excitement, so to write.
An Author’s silent, benevolent charm
Inspires a reader’s security alarm.
Ready, Set, Ink.
Lost in the scriptures of truth,
They’ve found a new path to their youth.
Writing relieves my stress.
My inked pages must seem a mess.
Contort the words of figurative love,
But hold nothing to writing above."
A poetic whisper to secretively conspire about the world we hold dear.
Dots and lines blot the blank and empty white,
A symbolic dance between reality and excitement, so to write.
An Author’s silent, benevolent charm
Inspires a reader’s security alarm.
Ready, Set, Ink.
Lost in the scriptures of truth,
They’ve found a new path to their youth.
Writing relieves my stress.
My inked pages must seem a mess.
Contort the words of figurative love,
But hold nothing to writing above."
Dear June
(I had a dream last night.
it was a place you told me about.
and it was beautiful like you said)
-Her silhouette outlined in front of the sun like a painting.
She was waiting on the edge of an old wooden dock,
hanging her feet over the water.
Her curly brown hair lost in the breeze,
the warmth of summer sun shinning off her face.
The smell of the ocean never brought her such peace.
She was waiting on a sailboat carrying her father and uncle.
They had be gone since the sun rose that morning. She didn't mind them being gone.
-It had given her the time to explore.
Spider webs and dust covered the giant wooden door of the lighthouse. She climbed the old rusty staircase which seemed to never end.
The light at the end felt unreachable, but she continued until she reached the top. The Violence of the water seemed beautiful to her. She could hear the waves crashing into the rocks at bottom of the tower.
-She enjoyed being away from home during the summer time.
The softness of the warm sand touching her bare feet.
You could see her love for the Ocean; in the way she walked the beach for countless hours.
Looking for seashells and searching the caves for unclaimed treasures.
She gave herself to recapture the noise of the seagulls,
the smell of the sand in the water for me.
-Calmly I walk along the beach for the first time with her.
She showed me all the things that made her smile.
She promised; "this side of the beach will only end when we cant walk anymore."
here we'll write our names in the sand.
here she'll never let go of my hand.
here I'll fall harder than I still do,
but here I won't worry, she knows her way around the Atlantic.
(but goodnight said my dreams
and all to soon she was gone, again)
it was a place you told me about.
and it was beautiful like you said)
-Her silhouette outlined in front of the sun like a painting.
She was waiting on the edge of an old wooden dock,
hanging her feet over the water.
Her curly brown hair lost in the breeze,
the warmth of summer sun shinning off her face.
The smell of the ocean never brought her such peace.
She was waiting on a sailboat carrying her father and uncle.
They had be gone since the sun rose that morning. She didn't mind them being gone.
-It had given her the time to explore.
Spider webs and dust covered the giant wooden door of the lighthouse. She climbed the old rusty staircase which seemed to never end.
The light at the end felt unreachable, but she continued until she reached the top. The Violence of the water seemed beautiful to her. She could hear the waves crashing into the rocks at bottom of the tower.
-She enjoyed being away from home during the summer time.
The softness of the warm sand touching her bare feet.
You could see her love for the Ocean; in the way she walked the beach for countless hours.
Looking for seashells and searching the caves for unclaimed treasures.
She gave herself to recapture the noise of the seagulls,
the smell of the sand in the water for me.
-Calmly I walk along the beach for the first time with her.
She showed me all the things that made her smile.
She promised; "this side of the beach will only end when we cant walk anymore."
here we'll write our names in the sand.
here she'll never let go of my hand.
here I'll fall harder than I still do,
but here I won't worry, she knows her way around the Atlantic.
(but goodnight said my dreams
and all to soon she was gone, again)
30.5.10
Ambien.
Tonight I lay awake daydreaming about falling asleep in a field of flowers.
Clouds of dandelions caught by the wind dance together and pirouette over my head.
As I lay staring into the atmosphere smell of babies breath in the air
the wind tunnels through the flowers softly touching my exposed skin
I can taste the warmth of summer in the air, I feel calm.
For a few moments the moon hides behind the clouds to reveal
shimmering lights like a splendorous hi tech backdrop.
I watch as comets fall from the sky and fade away into the endless field.
I watch as all the planets A-line, and eclipse with the full moon.
I watch as the stars dance in the creamy milky-way clear as day.
As I lay with my back against the world, I daydream
About a place I can call home if only for the night.
Clouds of dandelions caught by the wind dance together and pirouette over my head.
As I lay staring into the atmosphere smell of babies breath in the air
the wind tunnels through the flowers softly touching my exposed skin
I can taste the warmth of summer in the air, I feel calm.
For a few moments the moon hides behind the clouds to reveal
shimmering lights like a splendorous hi tech backdrop.
I watch as comets fall from the sky and fade away into the endless field.
I watch as all the planets A-line, and eclipse with the full moon.
I watch as the stars dance in the creamy milky-way clear as day.
As I lay with my back against the world, I daydream
About a place I can call home if only for the night.
14.5.10
Golden Years
As stars set in the northern sky
we stare into a empty parking lot,
and smoke the nights first cigarette.
we stand under the red neon lights
to gossip about the night we'd had.
"making friends with drunks."
"And bumming cigarettes off cheap girls."
"All in a days night." We say, "ready for
another night to begin."
Nightly we dance beneath the noctilucent clouds filling our minds with illegal substances and lungs with tar.
"Are these the stories we will tell our grandchildren about?" I ponder, blowing smoke into the fresh summer breeze.
Our golden years;
from
chain smoking in restaurant parking lots,
getting high in a strangers car
the sky filled with teeming clouds.
The glow of red neon lights shine on the
young faces hiding their sucken eyes
so young and so naive.
to
laughing behind the counter at girls that try to hard,
us knowing love isn't found in a place like this.
and
a love story from our generation.
she ran into the open arms of his heart
and he left his heart on her sleeve
all
to the sound of old time music in the background.
Are these the stories I could tell?
we stare into a empty parking lot,
and smoke the nights first cigarette.
we stand under the red neon lights
to gossip about the night we'd had.
"making friends with drunks."
"And bumming cigarettes off cheap girls."
"All in a days night." We say, "ready for
another night to begin."
Nightly we dance beneath the noctilucent clouds filling our minds with illegal substances and lungs with tar.
"Are these the stories we will tell our grandchildren about?" I ponder, blowing smoke into the fresh summer breeze.
Our golden years;
from
chain smoking in restaurant parking lots,
getting high in a strangers car
the sky filled with teeming clouds.
The glow of red neon lights shine on the
young faces hiding their sucken eyes
so young and so naive.
to
laughing behind the counter at girls that try to hard,
us knowing love isn't found in a place like this.
and
a love story from our generation.
she ran into the open arms of his heart
and he left his heart on her sleeve
all
to the sound of old time music in the background.
Are these the stories I could tell?
7.5.10
off my chest. rambling again.
in all of about 15 minutes my soul was shattered.
you're the one person I wished I could be near.
i'm not afraid to die, i'm just not ready yet.
you were there the first time I felt this alone.
it was the only other time I've felt this broken.
you were there, now you're not.
there's only one thing I wished I never done.
listen to someone other than you.
it was our friendship, not theirs.
i'm just a fuck up baby.
i'll live.
i hope you never read this, it's depressing enough.
you'd know everything I've written the past few months was about you.
"I adore you. I need you. I want you. I miss you. I love you."
ha i miss those jokes because you never got them.
i was always afraid to act like me.
i was always afraid too.
i am alot different now, i am not afraid.
i am alot different now.
jobs.
cars.
dogs.
college.
and a stuffed hippo noone wants.
you're the one person I wished I could be near.
i'm not afraid to die, i'm just not ready yet.
you were there the first time I felt this alone.
it was the only other time I've felt this broken.
you were there, now you're not.
there's only one thing I wished I never done.
listen to someone other than you.
it was our friendship, not theirs.
i'm just a fuck up baby.
i'll live.
i hope you never read this, it's depressing enough.
you'd know everything I've written the past few months was about you.
"I adore you. I need you. I want you. I miss you. I love you."
ha i miss those jokes because you never got them.
i was always afraid to act like me.
i was always afraid too.
i am alot different now, i am not afraid.
i am alot different now.
jobs.
cars.
dogs.
college.
and a stuffed hippo noone wants.
4.5.10
30.4.10
Honestly, it's for me.
I was thinking about why I even have a blog.
but I think I just needed to acknowledge that this means something to me.
to be fair, a lot of these have been no more than a paragraph.
a lot of them have been pointless drivel.
a lot of them, from the heart.
a lot of them won't make it to the big show.
they've seen me grow.
physically,
emotionally,
spiritually,
intelligently,
and just about every way.
they've seen the best of hope,
the worst of despair.
the best of me,
the worst.
the strongest,
and the weakest.
they've seen me post, only to take it away for feeling too whiny.
they've surprised me. they're just words, but at the same time, they're so much more.
A release, I sleep better with a clear mind.
At least I thought I did.
but I think I just needed to acknowledge that this means something to me.
to be fair, a lot of these have been no more than a paragraph.
a lot of them have been pointless drivel.
a lot of them, from the heart.
a lot of them won't make it to the big show.
they've seen me grow.
physically,
emotionally,
spiritually,
intelligently,
and just about every way.
they've seen the best of hope,
the worst of despair.
the best of me,
the worst.
the strongest,
and the weakest.
they've seen me post, only to take it away for feeling too whiny.
they've surprised me. they're just words, but at the same time, they're so much more.
A release, I sleep better with a clear mind.
At least I thought I did.
28.4.10
Miserable At Best.
if you're reading this,
you're alive.
If that's not something to smile about,
then I don't know what is.
you're alive.
If that's not something to smile about,
then I don't know what is.
26.4.10
Cry of the Wild
Wonderous foilage, plush and deep.
Glowing eyes, barely hear them creep.
Maybe a snake, into the earth it bore?
or perhaps a tiger, silent without roar?
"Fear! It's man!" cried from the top of the tree.
The limbs now rustle, creatures now flee.
"Wait I want to study you!", she cries;
but the creatures are doubtful, after all man lies.
Then from the silence a grayed gorilla appears.
"Just keep your distance,"
he says; "I still have my fears."
"You fear me! How could that be true?!
Why you're wild, ferocious! I'm much smaller than you!"
"Indeed you are smaller, but as for ferocious and wild...
man is no comparison, he beats us by a mile!
While lion and man both hunt and kill in a pack,
the lion is driven by hunger, man the joy of attack!"
"What you are saying of man sadly is right;
but some of us," she said "for you we will fight."
The old gorilla raised his head, paused and squinted both his eyes.
"Rumor has been told of man," he said "in whom such goodness lies.
You're the first I have seen, your kind comes seldom and few...
the earth would be much better, if there were more man like you."
Glowing eyes, barely hear them creep.
Maybe a snake, into the earth it bore?
or perhaps a tiger, silent without roar?
"Fear! It's man!" cried from the top of the tree.
The limbs now rustle, creatures now flee.
"Wait I want to study you!", she cries;
but the creatures are doubtful, after all man lies.
Then from the silence a grayed gorilla appears.
"Just keep your distance,"
he says; "I still have my fears."
"You fear me! How could that be true?!
Why you're wild, ferocious! I'm much smaller than you!"
"Indeed you are smaller, but as for ferocious and wild...
man is no comparison, he beats us by a mile!
While lion and man both hunt and kill in a pack,
the lion is driven by hunger, man the joy of attack!"
"What you are saying of man sadly is right;
but some of us," she said "for you we will fight."
The old gorilla raised his head, paused and squinted both his eyes.
"Rumor has been told of man," he said "in whom such goodness lies.
You're the first I have seen, your kind comes seldom and few...
the earth would be much better, if there were more man like you."
23.4.10
Here in this moment
I am becoming a different person
I'm not sure if it's a good thing yet
But Its something that I gained
from you ripping my heart out
If you could have showed me
6 months ago this would be us
I would of stopped somewhere
between Hello and Forever
I could have saved alot of your time
"and i said, if the answer is no,
can i change your mind?
-change your mind, the killers"
I'm not sure if it's a good thing yet
But Its something that I gained
from you ripping my heart out
If you could have showed me
6 months ago this would be us
I would of stopped somewhere
between Hello and Forever
I could have saved alot of your time
"and i said, if the answer is no,
can i change your mind?
-change your mind, the killers"
22.4.10
.
Sometimes,
All It takes is time.
Sometimes,
It takes alot of time.
Sometimes,
it's worth fighting for.
Sometimes,
things won't be the same.
Sometimes,
You get what you want.
Sometimes,
It's not that easy.
Sometimes,
We need alone.
Sometimes,
It'd be nice to feel warmth.
Sometimes,
There's no happy ending.
Sometimes
Just get over it.
Sometimes,
Someone takes the best out of you.
Sometimes,
You've gotta accept that.
Sometimes,
We have regrets.
We will relaspe.
We will forgive.
Sometimes,
You can't replace it.
You can't escape it.
You should forget it.
We Can't.
Sometimes,
Fuck.
Sometimes,
Nothing is better than something.
Sometimes,
Nothing hurts more than something.
Sometimes,
it takes every fiber of your being not to let go.
Sometimes,
You feel bad for feeling mad.
Sometimes,
You wonder if you still care anymore.
Sometimes,
Everything you said, I miss.
All It takes is time.
Sometimes,
It takes alot of time.
Sometimes,
it's worth fighting for.
Sometimes,
things won't be the same.
Sometimes,
You get what you want.
Sometimes,
It's not that easy.
Sometimes,
We need alone.
Sometimes,
It'd be nice to feel warmth.
Sometimes,
There's no happy ending.
Sometimes
Just get over it.
Sometimes,
Someone takes the best out of you.
Sometimes,
You've gotta accept that.
Sometimes,
We have regrets.
We will relaspe.
We will forgive.
Sometimes,
You can't replace it.
You can't escape it.
You should forget it.
We Can't.
Sometimes,
Fuck.
Sometimes,
Nothing is better than something.
Sometimes,
Nothing hurts more than something.
Sometimes,
it takes every fiber of your being not to let go.
Sometimes,
You feel bad for feeling mad.
Sometimes,
You wonder if you still care anymore.
Sometimes,
Everything you said, I miss.
What am I waiting for?
I don't know.
something amazing.
I guess.
But tomorrow,
at this time, i will be back home.
I'll write something insightful,
wordy, and heartwrenching,
but right now,
i'm just excited.
and i'm just gonna go with that.
something amazing.
I guess.
But tomorrow,
at this time, i will be back home.
I'll write something insightful,
wordy, and heartwrenching,
but right now,
i'm just excited.
and i'm just gonna go with that.
20.4.10
a necessary heartbreak.
I've never let someone in, until you.
Noone will get that close to me again,
Not even you.
Noone will get that close to me again,
Not even you.
10.4.10
The Madman and His Best Friend
Have you ever taken a journey to the dark side of someone's soul?
It's quiet yet deafeningly loud, pitchblack while blinding, hot as hell and so cold.
Closed in walls, black as black, you can barely move so you creep;
But on closer examination the corners run not together merging instead into the deep.
Madman screaming out for mercy, "unleash these chains of my knotted, twisted mind!"
Then he cries out of truest agony, knowing the bondage is of his own making every time.
Head beating against the wall, eyes rolling backward within his head.
Has he escaped? No, that's not likely-entombed before he's dead!
"Momma help me, Momma help me! I'm so scared of this place!"
Rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye his callused hands comforting his own face.
"Momma cannot help you," a stone cold voice stated from deeper yet within.
"This is between just you and I, and you know who'll always win."
"So fret no more my best friend, I've the cure for your quivering hand;
and you know the cure just as well as I-we've been here time and again."
Slowly crawling across the floor, trembling body leaning against the wall;
the madman cries, "Humans have backbones, they can stand, but not me, all I ever do is fall."
From the deep came comfort, "I know my love that's why I do not want you so far from the ground;
and that's why I said we need some more cure now so we don't come crashing down."
"You are right, you always know best," madman replies to his inner friend with a 'yes'.
"I can almost see the end table now just a few more seconds, I'm doing my best."
"Indeed you are my dear, you're doing so well," his friend supports "no one should say you are strung..."
Why you're functioning normal, where do they get off?! It's never your fault when things come undone!"
"And as for their comments who gave them the rights to your life?
They know not one thing about your stress and your personal strife."
"I bet no one could handle the things you deal with as you so craftily do.
Maybe they are jealous and like to pull you down-you decide which is true..."
Madman exhausted and sweating reaches the table and says, "Yes, you are right as a matter of fact..
No one loves me and I don't need them anymore so long as you've always got my back."
"Now, now surely you jest," assured his inner friend "you are the only one I live for;
You worry too much, you need to relax, hey this time you should try a little more."
"Last time it wasn't enough, euphoria didn't stay long, a larger dose will keep it around;
but stay by the table so you can have more fast to keep you from coming down."
"Yeah that's it, see you're starting to feel fine, but you know the high is not very strong;
I know, how 'bout this- take some more while you're up, then again to make it last long."
"I don't know," worried the madman,"I've never done that before, wouldn't it be too much?"
"Do you doubt me?" said the friend, "I'll always have your back; what happens to you happens to us."
"So true," said the madman, " we are always together; no one nor anything will come between you and I;
You love me, you comfort me, and without you I could not imagine getting by."
"You flatter me dear," replied the inner friend, "now come on what are you waiting for?"
Your hands are trembling, your body drips sweat, it's past time you did more."
"See, you need it to make it, you deserve to relax; let's quickly do one more again!"
The trembling over, eyes roll to the back, no communication between the friends.
Floating in no where because that's where he wants to be.
No worries, no one, no thoughts, no emotions, no need.
"Pssst, can you hear me?" asked his friend, "Can you hear me say take another?"
The message was clear, there was no need to hear-one's thoughts belonging to the other.
Together forever, best friends for life, a bond no outsider could break.
And with the last dose euphoria came-the kind that becomes one's fate.
Then they lay back against the wall, trembling over, the madman and his only best friend.
Yes his friend had his back, but it was against the wall, and he kept it there right to the end.
It's quiet yet deafeningly loud, pitchblack while blinding, hot as hell and so cold.
Closed in walls, black as black, you can barely move so you creep;
But on closer examination the corners run not together merging instead into the deep.
Madman screaming out for mercy, "unleash these chains of my knotted, twisted mind!"
Then he cries out of truest agony, knowing the bondage is of his own making every time.
Head beating against the wall, eyes rolling backward within his head.
Has he escaped? No, that's not likely-entombed before he's dead!
"Momma help me, Momma help me! I'm so scared of this place!"
Rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye his callused hands comforting his own face.
"Momma cannot help you," a stone cold voice stated from deeper yet within.
"This is between just you and I, and you know who'll always win."
"So fret no more my best friend, I've the cure for your quivering hand;
and you know the cure just as well as I-we've been here time and again."
Slowly crawling across the floor, trembling body leaning against the wall;
the madman cries, "Humans have backbones, they can stand, but not me, all I ever do is fall."
From the deep came comfort, "I know my love that's why I do not want you so far from the ground;
and that's why I said we need some more cure now so we don't come crashing down."
"You are right, you always know best," madman replies to his inner friend with a 'yes'.
"I can almost see the end table now just a few more seconds, I'm doing my best."
"Indeed you are my dear, you're doing so well," his friend supports "no one should say you are strung..."
Why you're functioning normal, where do they get off?! It's never your fault when things come undone!"
"And as for their comments who gave them the rights to your life?
They know not one thing about your stress and your personal strife."
"I bet no one could handle the things you deal with as you so craftily do.
Maybe they are jealous and like to pull you down-you decide which is true..."
Madman exhausted and sweating reaches the table and says, "Yes, you are right as a matter of fact..
No one loves me and I don't need them anymore so long as you've always got my back."
"Now, now surely you jest," assured his inner friend "you are the only one I live for;
You worry too much, you need to relax, hey this time you should try a little more."
"Last time it wasn't enough, euphoria didn't stay long, a larger dose will keep it around;
but stay by the table so you can have more fast to keep you from coming down."
"Yeah that's it, see you're starting to feel fine, but you know the high is not very strong;
I know, how 'bout this- take some more while you're up, then again to make it last long."
"I don't know," worried the madman,"I've never done that before, wouldn't it be too much?"
"Do you doubt me?" said the friend, "I'll always have your back; what happens to you happens to us."
"So true," said the madman, " we are always together; no one nor anything will come between you and I;
You love me, you comfort me, and without you I could not imagine getting by."
"You flatter me dear," replied the inner friend, "now come on what are you waiting for?"
Your hands are trembling, your body drips sweat, it's past time you did more."
"See, you need it to make it, you deserve to relax; let's quickly do one more again!"
The trembling over, eyes roll to the back, no communication between the friends.
Floating in no where because that's where he wants to be.
No worries, no one, no thoughts, no emotions, no need.
"Pssst, can you hear me?" asked his friend, "Can you hear me say take another?"
The message was clear, there was no need to hear-one's thoughts belonging to the other.
Together forever, best friends for life, a bond no outsider could break.
And with the last dose euphoria came-the kind that becomes one's fate.
Then they lay back against the wall, trembling over, the madman and his only best friend.
Yes his friend had his back, but it was against the wall, and he kept it there right to the end.
Today.
Today I got a glimpse of reality
A cold shower
A wake up call from the nation
The Few, The Proud.
I thought about calling you
I felt happy
I felt whole
I almost forgot what normal felt like
I walked in the street
I thought about life
I thought about moving
And a lamp went out as I walked under it
I decided to stop and smell the flowers
I picked one and hung it-
upsidedown from a string
I'll find a safe place for it once it's dry
Tonight i'm going to bed late
I had some thinking to do
a few things to consider before I sleep
a few things to consider before I leave
I decided not worry about the little things
I decided
I decided
I decided
A cold shower
A wake up call from the nation
The Few, The Proud.
I thought about calling you
I felt happy
I felt whole
I almost forgot what normal felt like
I walked in the street
I thought about life
I thought about moving
And a lamp went out as I walked under it
I decided to stop and smell the flowers
I picked one and hung it-
upsidedown from a string
I'll find a safe place for it once it's dry
Tonight i'm going to bed late
I had some thinking to do
a few things to consider before I sleep
a few things to consider before I leave
I decided not worry about the little things
I decided
I decided
I decided
9.4.10
A long road i hope to take again.
I like to walk under the stars,
Humming the tune to my favorite songs
Enjoying the cool of spring wind
But,
I still can't wait till June
New Season, New State.
A fresh start.
I like the thought of walking new streets,
Finding home somewhere unexpected,
Discovering a world outside,
Where ignorance is bliss,
And people cherish it.
I've realized there’s a place on this street,
Where the road ends, I think I'll turn around.
But,
Probably not.
Humming the tune to my favorite songs
Enjoying the cool of spring wind
But,
I still can't wait till June
New Season, New State.
A fresh start.
I like the thought of walking new streets,
Finding home somewhere unexpected,
Discovering a world outside,
Where ignorance is bliss,
And people cherish it.
I've realized there’s a place on this street,
Where the road ends, I think I'll turn around.
But,
Probably not.
5.4.10
New Year, New Month, New Day.
Scattered words and empty thoughts,
seem to pour from my heart.
I've never felt so torn before,
Seems I don't know where to start.
My days blend together.
My nights come and go.
I don't feel happiness anymore.
I feel I've reached the bottom,
of what once seemed a bottom-less pit.
Who drew the rain cloud over my head?
What good is love when it is not returned?
When will this year turn around?
Where did my wall crack and collapse?
Why did I wear my heart on your sleeve?
Rambling again.
seem to pour from my heart.
I've never felt so torn before,
Seems I don't know where to start.
My days blend together.
My nights come and go.
I don't feel happiness anymore.
I feel I've reached the bottom,
of what once seemed a bottom-less pit.
Who drew the rain cloud over my head?
What good is love when it is not returned?
When will this year turn around?
Where did my wall crack and collapse?
Why did I wear my heart on your sleeve?
Rambling again.
30.3.10
Maybe next time
Definite silence from A long lost lover.
Sorry, I wear my heart on my sleeve.
Maybe next time I'll remember what this feels like.
Probably not.
Sorry, I wear my heart on my sleeve.
Maybe next time I'll remember what this feels like.
Probably not.
21.3.10
3.3.10
The Poetry of Insomnia
"It's at night, when perhaps we should be dreaming, that the mind is most clear, that we are most able to hold all our life in the palm of our skull. I don't know if anyone has ever pointed out that great attraction of insomnia before, but it is so; the night seems to release a little more of our vast backward inheritance of instincts and feelings; as with the dawn, a little honey is allowed to ooze between the lips of the sandwich, a little of the stuff of dreams to drip into the waking mind. I wish I believed, as J. B. Priestley did, that consciousness continues after disembodiment or death, not forever, but for a long while. Three score years and ten is such a stingy ration of time, when there is so much time around. Perhaps that's why some of us are insomniacs; night is so precious that it would be pusillanimous to sleep all through it! A "bad night" is not always a bad thing.
~Brian W. Aldiss"
For a lack of better words....at least i get to watch the sunrise.
2.3.10
Trouble Sleeping?
17 seconds until it's 3am
and there's no stars out tonight
I don't think I can handle another broken heart from you
But it's a long road I hope to take again
Come on and we'll try one last time.
and there's no stars out tonight
I don't think I can handle another broken heart from you
But it's a long road I hope to take again
Come on and we'll try one last time.
28.2.10
I like rain, actually.
I'm only sorry it doesn't make everything new again.
But It's 3am so i must be lonely.
23.2.10
21.2.10
We are Artists.
We are artists all the same.
We feel what you felt, last night.
We think the thoughts,
We write them down.
Trimming the egdes of our lives.
Editing the words of our broken hearts.
Cutting the raw footage of our lost lovers.
All in a days work.
We take photographs,
We delete most of them.
We paint pictures,
We burn most of them.
We write letters,
That you will never read.
We are artists because we have nothing.
We are artists because we have lost it all.
We are artists because we have lived.
We are artists all the same.
We feel what you felt, last night.
We think the thoughts,
We write them down.
Trimming the egdes of our lives.
Editing the words of our broken hearts.
Cutting the raw footage of our lost lovers.
All in a days work.
We take photographs,
We delete most of them.
We paint pictures,
We burn most of them.
We write letters,
That you will never read.
We are artists because we have nothing.
We are artists because we have lost it all.
We are artists because we have lived.
We are artists all the same.
16.2.10
Today I thought you'd care.
Tonight, I went to bed at 4.
I couldn't sleep.
My thoughts kept me up, again.
Paper doesn't capture the words.
Paper doesn't capture the emotions.
Paper doesn't capture me.
Let the past out, then leave it where you found it.
Go to the place it hurts the most.
Stay there.
Tonight I should move on.
Tonight I should let go.
Tonight I should forget,
but I can't.
Tonight My thoughts will keep me up.
As per usual.
I couldn't sleep.
My thoughts kept me up, again.
Paper doesn't capture the words.
Paper doesn't capture the emotions.
Paper doesn't capture me.
Let the past out, then leave it where you found it.
Go to the place it hurts the most.
Stay there.
Tonight I should move on.
Tonight I should let go.
Tonight I should forget,
but I can't.
Tonight My thoughts will keep me up.
As per usual.
9.2.10
Let go.
Maybe You'll Remember Me,
Doubt it.
Doesn't matter anyway,
Desultory friendship
Your choice.
The hardest part of letting go
Knowing you tried your best,
and you failed miserably.
It is what it is.
Doubt it.
Doesn't matter anyway,
Desultory friendship
Your choice.
The hardest part of letting go
Knowing you tried your best,
and you failed miserably.
It is what it is.
31.1.10
"I've Learned That People Will Forget What You Said,
People Will Forget What You Did, But People Will Never Forget How You Made Them Feel."
People Will Fall In Love
People Will Fall Out Of Love
People Will Break A Heart
People Will Be Heart Broken
People Will Pursue Happiness
People Will Lose Themselves
People Will Be Friends
People Will Be Strangers
People Will Understand
People Will Make Mistakes
People Will See You Tomorrow
People Will Never Come
People Forget The Details
People Forget A Photograph
People Forget The Emotions
People Forget A Song
People Forget The Drawing
People Forget A Love Note
People Forget The Inside Joke
People Forget A Past
People Forget The Future
People Forget A Day
People Forget The Nights
People Forget Another
People Will Remember Love
People Will Remember The Feeling
People Will Remember Perfection
People Will Remember Their First
People Will Remember The Laugh
People Will Remember Each Smile
People Will Remember Every Touch
People Will Remember Comfort
People Will Remember Warmth
People Will Remember The Yellow Roses
People Will Remember The Memories
People Will Remember You
People Will Be New Inspiration
People Will Be The Motivation
People Will Give You A Reason
People Will Make It All Pointless
People Will Forget What You Did, But People Will Never Forget How You Made Them Feel."
People Will Fall In Love
People Will Fall Out Of Love
People Will Break A Heart
People Will Be Heart Broken
People Will Pursue Happiness
People Will Lose Themselves
People Will Be Friends
People Will Be Strangers
People Will Understand
People Will Make Mistakes
People Will See You Tomorrow
People Will Never Come
People Forget The Details
People Forget A Photograph
People Forget The Emotions
People Forget A Song
People Forget The Drawing
People Forget A Love Note
People Forget The Inside Joke
People Forget A Past
People Forget The Future
People Forget A Day
People Forget The Nights
People Forget Another
People Will Remember Love
People Will Remember The Feeling
People Will Remember Perfection
People Will Remember Their First
People Will Remember The Laugh
People Will Remember Each Smile
People Will Remember Every Touch
People Will Remember Comfort
People Will Remember Warmth
People Will Remember The Yellow Roses
People Will Remember The Memories
People Will Remember You
People Will Be New Inspiration
People Will Be The Motivation
People Will Give You A Reason
People Will Make It All Pointless
27.1.10
Just Her Shadow And Herself
Tonight She Followed The North Star
Her Mind Wandering, Dreaming
Listening For The Quite Roar Of The Storm
She Spoke To The Angels
"If Only Man Were Like You"
Sharing True Emotions With Their Blue Eyes
She Crys; "I Still Have My Fears"
They Held Her Hand Through The Night
She Wished She Could Let Go,
Let Go Of Herself, Of Her Pain.
"I'll Give It All To You"
She Looked As The Angels Closed Their Eyes
Fight The Tears "Why Are You Going"
Rolling Thunder Appears, They Are Gone
She Walks Alone Letting Her Mind Go
Her Intentions Fall To The Ground
She Hadn't Any Fight Left In Her
Couldn't Hide The Emptiness When It Showed
"Soon I'll Wake From This Dream"
She Sings To Herself As Rain Covers Her Skin
The Same Old Song She Remembers Her Mother Sang
"When The Rain Washes You Clean You Will Know"
She Knew She Was Happiest When It Rained
No One Could She Her Crying
She Was Alone, Just Her Shadow And Herself
Walking Down The Old Road They Both Know
"It's Just You And Me Shadow"
"I Want To Know Your With Me"
On Come Trials, On Come Storms
Her Shadow Always Followed Her
She Never Looked Back
Her Mind Wandering, Dreaming
Listening For The Quite Roar Of The Storm
She Spoke To The Angels
"If Only Man Were Like You"
Sharing True Emotions With Their Blue Eyes
She Crys; "I Still Have My Fears"
They Held Her Hand Through The Night
She Wished She Could Let Go,
Let Go Of Herself, Of Her Pain.
"I'll Give It All To You"
She Looked As The Angels Closed Their Eyes
Fight The Tears "Why Are You Going"
Rolling Thunder Appears, They Are Gone
She Walks Alone Letting Her Mind Go
Her Intentions Fall To The Ground
She Hadn't Any Fight Left In Her
Couldn't Hide The Emptiness When It Showed
"Soon I'll Wake From This Dream"
She Sings To Herself As Rain Covers Her Skin
The Same Old Song She Remembers Her Mother Sang
"When The Rain Washes You Clean You Will Know"
She Knew She Was Happiest When It Rained
No One Could She Her Crying
She Was Alone, Just Her Shadow And Herself
Walking Down The Old Road They Both Know
"It's Just You And Me Shadow"
"I Want To Know Your With Me"
On Come Trials, On Come Storms
Her Shadow Always Followed Her
She Never Looked Back
26.1.10
Forever is never to long to wait
I want you in my bed
I need to feel your touch
I want to feel your with me
I need to feel your warmth
I want to feel whats right
I need to know it's worth the wait
I want to know your song
I need to know what's next
I want you next to me
I need you to tell me what to do
I want you to fix me
I need you to motivate me
I want you to relax
I need something real
I want something worth fighting for
I need something to live for
I want to taste the sparks on your tongue
I need to remember the night
I want to remember your smell
I need to remember who i am
I want to remember who you are
I want to see the forest full of trees
I need the long walks
I want the long talks
I need the long gaze
I want the long awkward silence
I need sleep
I want you, to stay
Close your eyes and I'll close mine.
I need to feel your touch
I want to feel your with me
I need to feel your warmth
I want to feel whats right
I need to know it's worth the wait
I want to know your song
I need to know what's next
I want you next to me
I need you to tell me what to do
I want you to fix me
I need you to motivate me
I want you to relax
I need something real
I want something worth fighting for
I need something to live for
I want to taste the sparks on your tongue
I need to remember the night
I want to remember your smell
I need to remember who i am
I want to remember who you are
I want to see the forest full of trees
I need the long walks
I want the long talks
I need the long gaze
I want the long awkward silence
I need sleep
I want you, to stay
Close your eyes and I'll close mine.
24.1.10
Extravagant Love. .
Capture My Heart Love,
Lock It In Your Cage.
Feed It Daily,
With Your Romance.
Play With It,
When Your Lonely.
Tell It Forever You'll Be There.
Let My Heart Sit By Your Heart.
Let Them Beat In Sync.
Rhythmic, In Tune.
Let Them Harmonize, Together.
Let Them Sing, Together.
Fight For It,
It Will Fight For You.
Hold It Tight,
It Will Keep You Warm.
Believe In It,
It Will Never Let You Down.
A Love To Fall Into
A Love It Can't Contain
Everything It's Ever Wanted
Everything It's Ever Needed
Everything It Is, For You.
The Words Come Second To The Feelings You Need
To Express And Even If The World Never Sees It,
It Still Has Beauty Inside.
Lock It In Your Cage.
Feed It Daily,
With Your Romance.
Play With It,
When Your Lonely.
Tell It Forever You'll Be There.
Let My Heart Sit By Your Heart.
Let Them Beat In Sync.
Rhythmic, In Tune.
Let Them Harmonize, Together.
Let Them Sing, Together.
Fight For It,
It Will Fight For You.
Hold It Tight,
It Will Keep You Warm.
Believe In It,
It Will Never Let You Down.
A Love To Fall Into
A Love It Can't Contain
Everything It's Ever Wanted
Everything It's Ever Needed
Everything It Is, For You.
The Words Come Second To The Feelings You Need
To Express And Even If The World Never Sees It,
It Still Has Beauty Inside.
23.1.10
There is a season turn, turn, turn
"Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it"
Some People Stay In Your Life Forever,
Some Just Make An Abrupt Appearance.
We Can't Help Who Does And Doesn't Stay.
We Have To Accept They Are Gone.
Learn From Ourselves On How To Move On.
Learn How To Be A Better Person From,
The Time You Did Spend Together.
It's The Way We Deal With Them Leaving,
That Makes Us Who We Are.
It's Who We Become Without Them That Matters. Now.
You Can't Change Human Nature.
You Can Sit Back And Watch As They Leave,
Or Open The Door For Them Because You Know,
They Are Already Gone.
Don't Wander And Dwell On The Old Memories.
Create New Ones. Create Something Beautiful.
Don't Beg For Them To Come Back. They Won't.
You Tried Your Best And You Failed Miserably.
Just Because "They" Left, Doesn't Mean Everyone Will.
When It Turns 11:11, I Still Wish For You.
Some People Stay In Your Life Forever,
Some Just Make An Abrupt Appearance.
We Can't Help Who Does And Doesn't Stay.
We Have To Accept They Are Gone.
Learn From Ourselves On How To Move On.
Learn How To Be A Better Person From,
The Time You Did Spend Together.
It's The Way We Deal With Them Leaving,
That Makes Us Who We Are.
It's Who We Become Without Them That Matters. Now.
You Can't Change Human Nature.
You Can Sit Back And Watch As They Leave,
Or Open The Door For Them Because You Know,
They Are Already Gone.
Don't Wander And Dwell On The Old Memories.
Create New Ones. Create Something Beautiful.
Don't Beg For Them To Come Back. They Won't.
You Tried Your Best And You Failed Miserably.
Just Because "They" Left, Doesn't Mean Everyone Will.
When It Turns 11:11, I Still Wish For You.
21.1.10
Shrink.
I Am Just A Worthless Liar,
In A Sea Of Perfect Accusations,
Pointing Every Finger At Me.
Drowning With Every Step I Take.
I Am Just A Good-For-Nothing.
I Will Only Complicate You.
Leaving Ever Promise Empty.
Trust In Me And I Will Fail.
I Am Just An Adolescent.
I Know Nothing But Myself.
I Will Never Become Who You Want.
Pride In Being Immature.
I Am Just Your Forgotten Lover.
Try Anything To Win You Back.
Lost The War Before The Battle Started.
It's Good To Know I'm Worthless.
I Wish I Could Start This Over.
In A Sea Of Perfect Accusations,
Pointing Every Finger At Me.
Drowning With Every Step I Take.
I Am Just A Good-For-Nothing.
I Will Only Complicate You.
Leaving Ever Promise Empty.
Trust In Me And I Will Fail.
I Am Just An Adolescent.
I Know Nothing But Myself.
I Will Never Become Who You Want.
Pride In Being Immature.
I Am Just Your Forgotten Lover.
Try Anything To Win You Back.
Lost The War Before The Battle Started.
It's Good To Know I'm Worthless.
I Wish I Could Start This Over.
19.1.10
If I Were Somebody. .
I Would Care.
I Would Take Time To Listen.
You Would Love Me.
I Would Know All The Right Answers.
I Would Have A Life To Give You.
I Could Provide.
I Would Take The Time To Think.
I Would Say All The Right Things,
Make All The Right Moves.
I'd Be With You.
I Wouldn't Be Worthless
Depressing
Dramatic
Dwelling
I Would Be Productive.
I Would Stop Making Excuses.
I'd Be Motivated
I Would Have Something To Celebrate
I Would Have A Song To Sing.
We Would Dance.
I Would Have Something To Live For.
I Would Have A Reason To Fight.
I'd Hold Your Hand.
I Would Know All Your Favorite Things.
I Would Give You Them,
Because I Love You.
I Wouldn't Become Jealous.
I Wouldn't Give A Fuck.
I Wouldn't Drink.
I Wouldn't Lie.
I Wouldn't,
Be Me.
I Would Take Time To Listen.
You Would Love Me.
I Would Know All The Right Answers.
I Would Have A Life To Give You.
I Could Provide.
I Would Take The Time To Think.
I Would Say All The Right Things,
Make All The Right Moves.
I'd Be With You.
I Wouldn't Be Worthless
Depressing
Dramatic
Dwelling
I Would Be Productive.
I Would Stop Making Excuses.
I'd Be Motivated
I Would Have Something To Celebrate
I Would Have A Song To Sing.
We Would Dance.
I Would Have Something To Live For.
I Would Have A Reason To Fight.
I'd Hold Your Hand.
I Would Know All Your Favorite Things.
I Would Give You Them,
Because I Love You.
I Wouldn't Become Jealous.
I Wouldn't Give A Fuck.
I Wouldn't Drink.
I Wouldn't Lie.
I Wouldn't,
Be Me.
Let the past come out in your writing. .then leave it there.
"Write Your Feelings Down, Baby Girl."
"Your Pain Brings Out Good Shit."
Leave Your Past Behind Me,
I Won't Look Back.
Then Tell Me The Lies You've Told Yourself.
Ignore The Truth, It'll Only Hurt You more.
Just Because You're Not Happy,
Doesnt Mean It's Not Real.
I Can Only Take So Much Before You Break Me
The Way You Broke Yourself.
I Love You.
I Hate You.
I Need You.
Fuck Off.
"Your Pain Brings Out Good Shit."
Leave Your Past Behind Me,
I Won't Look Back.
Then Tell Me The Lies You've Told Yourself.
Ignore The Truth, It'll Only Hurt You more.
Just Because You're Not Happy,
Doesnt Mean It's Not Real.
I Can Only Take So Much Before You Break Me
The Way You Broke Yourself.
I Love You.
I Hate You.
I Need You.
Fuck Off.
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