fuck.you.

Careless Americans, war and it's accidents.

Sitting on the back of the striker.
I felt the cold creep into me.
The old man sat next to me,
Perhaps to tired to continue his tirade against cruel fate.

"it wasn't any ones fault. It was an accident."

inhale,cherry glow.

"Yeah, I know."

long exhale.

"I know."

Growing older doesn't have to be war.

It's getting close, I can read it on my face.
I almost have another year under my belt.
I have my year of stories, along with the battle scars.
I'm not proud of everything that's happened but I'm not
one to regret any of it. I've been told "You only live once."

I consider myself one of the lucky ones.
I fell in and out of love for the first time,
Got the tattoo.
I learned to sleep through thunder storms,
Moved out on my own.
I was in the wrong place at the wrong time,
Spent the night in a hole.

I'm going to use this next year to reconnect.
I'm going to use it to make up for lost times.
I'm going to use it to get back things I've lost,
people i have let go.
I am going to use this next year for me,
and the one after that.

To live life you have to get older, when you stop getting older is when you stop living.
I think that makes getting older worth it. Or at least that's what I like to tell myself.

That was our moment, and we did not shy away. I won't forget it soon.

"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need."

"'Remember me,' she said, smiling. 'Write my name somewhere safe."

I wrote a letter a little less than year ago.
To a friend, a best friend.
It was posted as a note on my facebook.
Today, as I looked back over it many, many, many times.
I felt sad for the first time.
I deleted it, I can't bare to read it again.

I feel that in the moment when i wrote it i was confused but I felt happy...
I'm actually not 100% sure that my position is all that different now.
I think there is a part of me that still feels this way, and I find it to be a good thing,
but maybe not.

We're only small dots on the map of each others lives.
Our lives had always been on two separate tracks that, by chance, intercepted for a brief moment in time. She will continue now on hers, and I on mine in two opposite directions,
with a very slim chance that we will ever meet again.
And really, I think that it's ok that way.
Not everything is meant to be long term; in fact,
"some perfect moments in life would be ruined if they lasted longer than what they were meant to."

In all Honesty I can't recall the time of day or what we should of been doing.
I find myself trying to remember the moment we became friends.
All I know is that it was the best conversation that I've ever had.

I changed alot, for good. For the better, I hope.

So in thinking about these moments,
these unexpected happenings that changed who I was becoming,
I wonder to myself if I'm a part of someone else's defining moment,
I like to think that somewhere, somehow, I am.
It gives me hope for the future, for the conversations, smiles, friendships,
laughs, hugs, cuddles and good days to come.

I'm done trying, Good-Bye Stranger.

"A hundred thousand words could not quite explain
So I walk you to your car, And we can talk it out in the rain"

Dear John,

remember me, please...

there's no place that far...

"never stop loving me."

"I'll never stop loving you."